with love, megan

Recently I started reading Waking the Dead by John Eldredge. Now since I’m only three chapters along, I can’t give you a proper book review. That that was not the intention of the post to begin with, though. No, the intention was to share with you a little something that the book inspired. Around the middle of chapter three, it says the following:

Take a moment, set down the book, and make a list of all the things you love. Don’t edit yourself ; don’t worry about prioritizing or anything of that sort. Simply think of all the things you love. Whether it’s the people in your life or the things that bring you joy or the places that are dear to you or your God, you could not love them if you did not have a heart. A life filled with loving is a life most like the one that God lives, which is life as it was meant to be (Eph. 5:1-2)

So as I was reading, I nearly gave a mental check! and went on. But then I stopped, put down my book, and actually started making the list. Why not? And would you know… I made it to 65 things in a matter of moments! I think I’ll continue the list as I think of more to add, but for now here’s just a snippet:

…

coffee

sleeping in

curly hair

popcorn

Menil Park

wrapping gifts

cornbread stuffing

being warm

dresses

trees

clean sheets

laughing

making things beautiful

baking

cozy rooms

cities

storytelling

pancakes

Christmas carols

long dinner parties

airport reunions

writing

good friends

giving

dangly earrings

libraries

…

What’s on your list??

A couple of my cute little students are going through the Catholic confirmation process this semester. Seeing as Chile is 70% Catholic, the majority of my students (at varying degrees) identify with the Catholic faith.

During class yesterday, one of my favorite little guys told me about how he had just gone for his first confession. He said that he had confessed “a lot of things” and it felt good. He then told me about his first communion which is coming up soon. He told me that it will be at the church, that his entire family will be there, all the basics. Then after a pause (we had continued on with our lesson) he looked at me with big eyes and said, “I am going to receive God’s body!”

I couldn’t tell if he was excited, scared, or perhaps a bit of both. As I asked him a few questions about it all (they were honest questions – I know very little about the process) he didn’t have many answers, other than that it was going to be “looooooong.”

Knowing how fidgety this particular child typically is, I pity the priest who’s locked in a booth with him.

But moving on…

This is certainly not a commentary on my feelings toward the Catholic Church, seeing as most sweeping generalizations we make are unable to take into account each individual life and story. There are those who do and don’t know Jesus both within and outside the Catholic Church, just as I could say the same about my local Vineyard Church. I will say, though, that for this little guy there was a bunch of stuff going on around him that he didn’t really understand.

He drew a picture of God in his notebook – you know, long robe, white hair, hands folded as if in a moment of prayer. This was the first time this child had ever draw something in his notebook that wasn’t a zombie, a monster, or something that looked like it belonged on a Halloween decoration.

Is that God? The calmer and more dignified grandfather of the zombie king?

I hope not. And I hope that as he solemnly “receives God’s body” this week he knows somewhere inside that this is something different. And maybe, just maybe, he’ll grow up to know this God as more than another character or funny looking guy in a robe. Perhaps he’ll come to know that this God is actually real and alive and wanting to be in his life.

Yes.

Yes indeed.

I read this with a couple of my students today for the first time in many, many years. Funny how I found myself nodding and smiling as the journey of the little guy in the yellow pj’s continued. See if some part of it doesn’t resonate with you, too:

Oh, The Places You’ll Go! 

by Dr. Seuss

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.

No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

We have a strict policy here at meganbreed.com to never bother our readers with such irrelevant topics as sports, oil spills, or Israel easing blockades on the Gaza Strip (this dish is to be served with a pinch of sarcasm).

But as we learned in the 2009 instant classic film He’s Just Not That Into You, rules were indeed made to be broken.

(the name of that movie was supposed to be in italics, but they don’t work on this blog… the bane of my existence)

And so I will now make comments on the World Cup, or as it’s known around these parts, El Mundial.

We’ll now pause for a moment of silence.

Ok, silence over. Cue the buzz of a  swarm of angry bayou mosquitoes, which is actually a stadium full of horns. There are no scantily clad cheerleaders here, no helmets, no first, second, third (and fourth?) downs, but there are screaming fanatics at inappropriate hours of the morning. There are flags hanging from car windows. There are school children getting to start classes late, as well as have red, white and blue stripes painted on their faces for game days. There is a country bursting at the seams with pride.There are babies who are learning “GOL!” as their first word.

Ok, I’m not sure about that last one.

But it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It’s like… it’s like… I suppose it’s like the World Cup and nothing else. Or “nada mas” as we’d say around here… actually, with that tricky Chilean accent it sounds more like “nah maa”. We’ll save that conversation for another day, though.

And so even though I’ve lived in this long and skinny country for over a year now, I’m still experiencing new seasons all the time.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

One thing I’ve noticed since leaving the US is that I was accustomed to many, many short-cuts. From every manner of online shopping to Bisquick to drive-thru Starbucks, just about everything in the US has a faster version.

Here in Chile, although it’s a very developed and modern country (read: I do NOT ride a donkey up the side of a mountain to fetch my daily water supply), in many areas I’ve had to learn to do things “the old fashioned way.” Although this pertains to many facets of life, most prominently I notice this phenomenon in the kitchen. Gone are the days of canned black beans or store-bought hummus. This is the real deal.

Now I will say that one of the obvious advantages of this dilemma is the health factor. I have likely significantly reduced my intake of preservatives and high fructose corn syrup simply by virtue of necessity. Err, I mean, I was intentionally trying to lead a more healthy lifestyle.

*crickets chirping*

Ok, you got me. I’m totally lying.

But it’s certainly a nice by-product. I’ve also been forced to experiment more in the kitchen – forced to take some risks. And in all of it, I’ve been pleasantly surprised. Today’s case in point? Pumpkin.

As you all know, we’re well into autumn here in the Southern Hemisphere. As soon as the cool winds started blowing, I was ready for all things pumpkin. Pumpkin bread, pumpkin pancakes… hmmm… are we noticing a trend? Yeah, the main ingredient in all of these items is indeed PUMPKIN. In my former life I would have picked up some cans at the grocery store and gone to town on my baking projects. Not any more, though. Not any more. I had to tackle the pumpkin head-on. Actually, I’ve been using a fruit (or is it a veggie?!) here called a zapallo, which is a tiny bit different from our traditional pumpkin. The innards are basically the same, but the outside is green and white. Unfortunately, I don’t have  a photo of an entire one (you can google it) but just trust me.

I’ve been going to the feria every Sunday morning (like a giant farmer’s market) and buying fresh zapallo wedges. When I get them home, the fun begins (pardon some semi-blurry photos – I don’t have this cooking and picture snapping thing down quite yet):

where it all begins...

chunks ready for boiling

and we're boiling

some use pastry cutters for pastries - I use them to mash the pumpkin

drain, baby, drain - this stuff holds a lot of water... actually I drain it 3-4 times in the process

adding the good stuff: cinnamon, brown sugar, ginger, cloves and nutmeg

mixing the muffin batter

ready for the oven!

hello my love

breakfast of champions, or midday snack, or dessert, or perfect for tea time, or...

There you have it, folks. Didn’t that remind you of the time Mr. Rogers went to the Crayola factory? The entire process, from beginning to end, is actually quite lengthy but oh-so-delicious in the end. I now have some pumpkin puree prepared and waiting in my freezer. What’s next on my list of foods to conquer? I’m actually not sure yet. I’ll let you know when I figure it out!

I’m back for my third Ask the Megan answer session! I’ve enjoyed mulling over your questions and will definitely be doing this again soon.

Question 5

Submitted by RE, a member of the famous MRS Michaux Trio:

What advice would you now give to the you a year ago, that was just embarking on this grand journey of the move to Chile?

and one just for fun -

Top 10 of the Last Few Weeks in Houston List…just because I feel like any good show recaps when there are landmarks (like Bach weddings go back to look at where they came from, FRIENDS B-days and Thanksgivings go back and give us a glimpse into the past).

Ahhh, little Megan of last year. How innocent and unknowing you were, batting your blue eyes and flying off to a long and skinny country in South America. What would I tell her? Well, first of all, I would tell her to pack warm socks and appropriate footwear because the winters here are cold and wet.

But on a more serious note…

I would tell her to take her sweet time. Rome was not built in a day, and neither was an entirely new life.  Look at your days as investments in a project that is much larger than the tiny bit that you can now see. Celebrate the small things, let yourself be sad, treat every person you meet as a potential new friend (the ones who will stick will rise to the top), share your life here even when it may be easier to just email/skype someone back in the States, have people in the States ready to skype with you at a moments notice (yes, I know I just contradicted myself), do whatever you have to do to make this home (read: bring things into your Chilean life that you love, whether it be baking or your old rusty metal coffeeshop sign that’s hanging on the wall), don’t compare yourself to others (let your process be your own), find ways to rest and refuel (paint, play your guitar, bake even more cookies), be willing to make a fool of yourself (language learning at its finest), take time to enjoy the view on clear days, pursue depth in friendships, eat big breakfasts when you can, laugh, have an adventure now and again, don’t give yourself a time-frame in which you should “have it all together,” expect the unexpected, learn to be alone sometimes, know when you need to be with people, have fun (you’re in South America for crying out loud!) and breathe deeply.

That would have worked out better with bullet points, but for some reason when I do italics or bullets on this blog design they don’t show up!

She digresses.

And as for the second part – a look back. Love it. Sorry I procrastinated and now this is in honor of my 13-month anniversary, but let’s see… in random order:

- That night at Miller Outdoor Theater with the blankets – wasn’t it Latino Rhythm Night or the like?

- Kidnapping/Teotihuacan/downtown adventure/spontaneous choreographed dancing (also the night of the porch,  Michaux ladies)

- Final LePeep

- Countless “final” coffee dates and walks with so many lovely friends

- Farewell party at Yellowstone

- The “real” farewell party (the one with all the speeches)

- That night with all the porch goodbyes (rips my heart out just thinking about it – why did that make the list?!?)

- The CSM goodbyes…

- Final Laundromat LifeGroup

Eek! Writing this list is making me quite nostalgic. I think I only made it to nine, but really, I can’t begin to pick just 10 things. Those last days in Houston were some of the sweetest and the hardest I’ve ever had. I’ll tell you one thing for sure – in my five years there I put down deep roots. The difficult part of that is the pain that comes with leaving, yet the good part is the hope that it will happen again. Yes, that’s a hope that I cling to. I’m still so connected to my wonderful Houstonians, though, and I hope that on some level I always will be. Somehow, in the painful process of uprooting it was possible to keep the strong ties (although naturally those relationships look a bit different) as I began to put my roots down here. I’m wracking my brain for a good analogy for that but I just can’t think of one (ideas are always welcome in the comment section).

And so I sign off – 13 months into the journey. Thanks for the walk down memory lane, RE. I’ll see you in Chile in no time! (two weeks and three days to be exact…)

Perhaps this will become a regular blog feature, but for now…

Spanish Lessons With Megan:

demasiado

meaning: too much

significance: the last two weeks of my life

And she’s back, folks, with even more Ask the Megan answers! Let’s get right into things:

Question 4

Submitted by AL all the way from the ultra-cool Hazard Street in Houston:

Did you take the above picture?

and

How do you think God has changed you the most over the past year?
Excellent questions, AL, excellent questions. Yes, I did take the above picture (the fixed one that’s looking out over the city). I actually took it several years ago on a trip to Chile. I was perched atop the Cerro San Cristobal, which on a clear day (read: smog-less) offers a fantastic view of the city.

And now to the more meaty thoughts. I feel like I could have much to say about this, but I’ll try to focus in on one or two big themes. Coming here has been a challenge on several levels, one of which has had to do with identity. I arrived here with a clean slate, a blank canvas, empty pages (ok, enough metaphors). I wasn’t known here and I had nothing established, which was quite opposite compared to the life to which I was accustomed. In Houston I was known – in the CSM world I had relationships all over the city, people knew me for my house and roomies, to some I was their Life Group leader or their early-morning customer at Onion Creek, to others I was a friend. I had roots and identity there, and as much as it may be difficult to admit, that was very comfortable for me and helped me define myself.

In Chile, I had nothing. I arrived with my two suitcases, a visa for a year, and a wee bit of faith (and courage and hope and fear and trembling and …) I think what’s been significant about the year is that as I’ve started to build bit by bit, I’ve had to come face to face with the stripped-down version of myself. The no-identity Megan is actually probably Megan in her truest form. And in this place, I think we often come face to face with God. We’re forced to say: ok, it’s just you and me now. We’re forced to get real and honest. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I wasn’t living honestly before, but I would say this past year I’ve had to go to another level. I’ve had to access new parts of myself and new parts of God’s character in order to be sustained and have life.

Wow! I’m so exhausted from that post I’m going to wait to answer the last one for another day.

At long last, I’m back to answer your burning questions! I’ll do three today and the others in the next couple of days. Here we go…

Question 1

Submitted by JG, all the way from lovely South Carolina:

Have you come up with any nicknames for others in Spanish?

Haha… great question seeing as our college days were marked by “Hat Girl”, “Duchovny”, “Can’t Hardly Wait” and the like. Although I would like to say that my habit of naming people has stretched all the way to the Southern Hemisphere, my Spanish is not quite advanced enough to do much nicknaming as of yet. I have a few that I’m working on, though. Interestingly, I’m finding that very few people here actually go by their whole given name. Everyone has a shortened version (Paulina = Pauli, Patricia = Paty, Claudia = Clau). It’s enough of a challenge to figure out everyone’s real and nicknames… one of these days, though… one of these days.

Intricacies, such as subtlety, sarcasm (really, most humor in general) are not yet my strong points. I can pretty much say what I want to say, but I’m excited about the day when I can join in jokes more, beat around the bush or (are you reading, Nathan?) throw out a pun. One step at a time, though. One step at a time.

Question 2

Submitted by soon-to-be graduate school graduate EG:

Have you found a favorite get-away hiding spot? Where can you go to be alone, at peace and just chill how you want to? And it can’t be your apartment!!

Great question! And the answer is no, but I wish it was yes. In thinking about Staycation 2010, and really just my life rhythm in general, this is an area that’s lacking. Because I don’t know this city as well and I don’t have a car, it’s easier just to come home and crash, when in my former life I might have gone to a favorite bookstore for the evening or had a walk in one of several favorite parks. There is a rather large park not too far away that I’ve visited on several occasions and generally enjoyed, but other than that I’m still searching. My old favorites – bookstores and coffeeshops – aren’t as much in abundance around here. Therefore, I need to get creative. There are many lovely parts of the city, tons of parks, we’re not far from mountains or beach… what am I doing at home so much?!? Hopefully I’ll have some good progress to report on this front in the months to come.

Question 3

Submitted by NYC hipster MCB:

On a scale of 1 to crippling pain, how much to you miss your sister?

Crippling pain x 50000000 – I miss her more than a Welshman misses his eggy pie.

So, Sunday was my one year anniversary in Chile. I spent my one year anniversary in Concepcion – a city in the south of Chile nearest to the earthquake epicenter. I went for a weekend trip with a group from our church and to be honest, I probably wouldn’t have gone if I hadn’t been helping to coordinate. Why? Because I don’t like helping the victims of a devastating natural disaster? No, that’s obviously preposterous. Simply put, I’m tired. I was tired going into the weekend, and probably more tired coming out of it.

The last few months have been draining and I’ve come to that place to which we sometimes arrive where we have to stop, evaluate and listen (Breed is back with a brand new edition) and really figure out how to proceed healthier, more rested, and more balanced (read: something’s gotta give). I have a couple of strategies on my mind, one of which I’m calling  Megan’s First Anniversary Staycation. People take anniversary trips all the time, so why can’t I? Upon thinking about actually taking a trip, though, I began to get stressed out. And if you know me well, you know that people are what refuel me most – not hours of solitude (although those are necessary sometimes, too). SO, I’m going to set aside some time to stay in town, but do the things I love to do with people whom I enjoy (was that a correct usage of ‘whom’?) I’ll report more on this when it develops a little further.

I think one of the things I took for granted in my CSM years was the attention to staff care that they gave. Although we worked like crazy at certain times of the year, they also made sure we had some relaxing time (September!!!) and regular check-ins (in our case, weekly check-ins) that were essential and life giving. Although we had to make sure we took time for ourselves, it was somewhat built-in to the overall plan. Here, I don’t have that luxury. I have to (read: HAVE TO) make sure I’m doing it for myself.

Wait… I was supposed to be commenting on a year in Chile, wasn’t I?

Let’s shift gears.

Ok, I’ve been here a year. I’m alive. In some ways I’m in a completely different place than I thought I would be. In other ways, I suppose I’m right on track (whatever that means). I’m still in process. I have a little apartment that I love, I have friendships that are growing (would love to have more this year), I have a church that I’m learning to love and balance (read: not burn out), I have a job that allows me to meet interesting people and get out and about in the city (and teach a little when I get around to it). My language has improved. My cultural IQ is constantly growing. My feeling-at-homedness is coming along bit by bit, day by day. I’m transitioning from functioning/surviving to living and enjoying. I hope that this second year the roots can break through new, deeper ground, drawing in more nutrients, more life, more of the good stuff.

Yes, that would be nice.

So I mentioned authenticity before – I think I’ve done pretty well for myself in this post (for some reason I really wanted to add to this thought “how’d you like them apples?” but then it didn’t really seem to flow… so there you have it).

Also, I’m definitely still answering Ask the Megan questions – just got sidetracked by this anniversary. And my general exhaustion.  Keep posting questions if you’re burning to ask something! I love questions, I love comments, I love blog traffic in general. Was that narcissistic?

Signing off now.